Belonging Without Othering: How We Build a Bigger 'We'
Emerging from the Thriving Together US pre-conference gathering at the 22nd Century Initiative conference (June 2025)
At a time when the forces of division are accelerating, the need to build a broader, more inclusive "We" has never felt more urgent. That was the animating spirit behind the 22nd Century Initiative's 2025 conference, themed "Building a Bigger We," and its core framework: Block, Bridge, Build.
In advance of the conference, Thriving Together US (TTUS) hosted a full-day pre-conference dialogue to explore what it would take to build a democracy where everyone can thrive. While 22CI has been using Block/Bridge/Build as a guiding framework, the TTUS gathering introduced a complementary element to the framework: Belonging. We asked what it would take to build a movement based on Belonging Without Othering? This idea quickly became the focus of the day: Can we foster a sense of belonging powerful enough to hold our complexities—without creating new lines of exclusion?
The Power of Belonging
Before we can talk about the risks of false belonging, we need to acknowledge the deep, human power of the real thing. Belonging is the glue of movements, the emotional and social current that binds people together. Whether for better or worse, it gives people a sense of meaning, identity, and safety.
Nowhere is this more visible than in the emotional infrastructure of the MAGA movement:
"You go to a Trump rally, and it's not just politics—it's a cookout, a party, a church service. People are fed, emotionally and socially. That's what we're up against. They've created a community that feels tight... it's not about policies—it's about feeling like you're part of something." —Rich Logis (founder of Leaving MAGA)
This sense of belonging can’t be dismissed as irrational or fringe. It is real, and it is potent. The question isn’t whether belonging is powerful—it’s how that power is used.
False Belonging vs. True Community
Belonging can be built in ways that are generous, or ways that are exclusionary. One of the most common—and dangerous—forms of false belonging is when identity is forged through opposition. People are invited to belong not because of who they are, but because of who they are not.
This dynamic is at play across the political spectrum. In the MAGA movement, it often sounds like: “We’re the real Americans—they’re trying to replace us.” But the left is not immune. Progressive movements, too, have struggled with litmus tests and purity standards: particular language expectations, unspoken rules about who gets to speak, and quick judgments about who’s in or out.
As Rich Logis shared:
"Some of the folks who end up in MAGA didn’t start there. They felt like they couldn’t say what they were thinking in their own communities, that they were being judged or called out. And eventually they found a place where they didn’t feel ashamed. I’ve had people say, ‘At least over there, I don’t have to walk on eggshells.’"
In a society already saturated with disconnection, these cycles of rejection feed off each other. We feel rejected, so we reject back. We simplify. We draw lines. And in doing so, we mistake clarity for community.
This leads to the second common tactic of false belonging: the promise of certainty over nuance.
"They want certainty. They're not looking for nuance. When someone offers a clear story—even if it's wrong—it can feel better than being invisible. Belonging, even through opposition, is still belonging." —Aaron (Southern Poverty Law Center)
False belonging often trades complexity for coherence. It offers stories that are easy to grasp, emotionally satisfying, and immune to contradiction. But those stories are also brittle—and dangerous.
So the question becomes: How do we build belonging that’s just as powerful, without turning people into enemies or flattening our truths?
Belonging as the Terrain and the Goal
Belonging isn’t just a feeling. It’s a civic practice. It shows up in the stories we tell, the questions we ask, and the spaces we create. In the Thriving Together framework, belonging is both the compass and the destination—a commitment to building a world where everyone can thrive, with no one left out.
The graphic below outlines the vital conditions for well-being and justice, and at its heart is a powerful idea: Belonging and Civic Muscle are both the foundation and the result of a thriving society. Every other condition—like humane housing, meaningful work, and lifelong learning—is shaped and sustained by the strength of our civic relationships.
This vision of belonging demands more than representation—it asks us to create communities where all people, in all places, feel they truly matter.
"We have to give people something to move toward, not just away from. That's what creates pull. Not fear, but possibility." —Jane (Rippel Foundation)
This forward-looking vision is at the heart of the Thriving Together ethos. Belonging is not just a means to an end—it is the end. It's the glue that holds a pluralistic democracy together, and the compass that points us toward the future we want.
"We don't just need better critiques—we need better dreams. Something that makes people want to opt in." —Duncan
Tools for Creating Belonging in Complexity
Earlier, we named how false belonging often relies on oversimplification. It gives people emotionally satisfying clarity by reducing complexity and replacing nuance with absolutes. But here’s the truth: the world is complex. Our challenges are wicked problems—entangled, contradictory, and often unresolved. If we're going to meet reality honestly, we have to learn how to create belonging in the midst of ambiguity.
That doesn’t mean people have to feel lost. Emotional safety and groundedness are still possible—if we know how to build them. At the pre-convening, two key strategies emerged:
1. Grounded containers for complexity.
Facilitation matters. We can create brave, bounded spaces that don’t demand agreement, but do invite mutual respect. These containers work best when they are clearly held—naming the purpose, expectations, and practices that help people feel anchored, even when things are uncertain.
"People can handle ambiguity when the space feels grounded, when there's clarity about how we're engaging." —Jane
2. Questions that invite people into shared purpose.
Instead of answers that divide, we can offer questions that pull people forward—questions that suggest we need each other to find the way. These "pull questions" open space for diverse perspectives and make it clear that everyone's contribution matters.
"It's not just about being invited to the table. It's about actually feeling like you're needed there—like the space doesn't work without you." —Brianna
Belonging in complexity isn’t about softening the edges of truth—it’s about making space for all of us to explore it together. In doing so, we build a different kind of clarity: one rooted not in certainty, but in shared courage.
Building the Bigger "We"
The Thriving Together framework and the Block/Bridge/Build model are are complementary. When Belonging is placed at the center, these strategies become more than tactics. They become the infrastructure for a new civic culture.
In an age where authoritarian strategies thrive on clarity, fear, and false community, we can offer something deeper: a future that welcomes complexity, nourishes connection, and insists that democracy is not just about systems—it's about us.
"We need to build a bigger 'We.' One that includes everyone and has a place for everyone."
That kind of "We" doesn’t just emerge. It has to be created—carefully, intentionally, together.
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